The Monsters Division.
When your child says there's a monster under the bed, the most helpful thing an adult can do is take the report seriously. Our pediatric Under-Bed Consultation sends a uniformed technician to meet with your child, take their report on an official intake form, inspect the space together by flashlight, and file the findings in a case folder your child keeps.
Under the bed. Inspected by flashlight.
The Under-Bed Consultation
Your technician arrives on time and in uniform. She interviews the reporting party (crayon accepted), asks the questions a professional would ask, and inspects under the bed, in the closet, and anywhere else on the report.
The findings go into a case folder with your child's name on it, along with a junior technician sticker. We never mock the caller, and the caller is six.
Not ready to book? Start with the form.
Download the Dearly Departed Monster Intake Form, have your child fill it out, and keep it on file.
It is on its way.
Have your child fill it out and keep it on file. Crayon accepted.
Other Monsters Division services
- IN SCOPEBasement dwellers
- IN SCOPEAttic knockers
- IN SCOPECloset occupants
- IN SCOPEThe thing under the bed
Rural and mountain territories also carry the large-cryptid add-on. Ask your local office.
Monsters Division questions
Yes. It's a scheduled, uniformed visit, and your child's report is handled with the same protocol as any other case.
[NEEDS INFO: recommended age range.] Most reporting parties are between four and ten.
We'd love it. Parent-shot photos shared with permission may be featured on our social channels.
We take the weird call seriously.
Book a consultation and we will be there, in uniform, with a flashlight and a case folder.
